What Women Really Mean When They Are Talking

Men are naturally stronger than women as a rule.  It is genetics and there is nothing they can do about that.  But they have come up with a measured response that has kept men at bay and in their control forever.  If you are a man and take a woman literally, you are either single or not listening.  Women have a way of getting what they want without having to directly ask for it.  I will give you a brief list of these words and phrases that have managed to confuse men into doing a woman’s bidding.

1.  Do what you want — Guys, this is not a woman giving you permission to go out with your friends to a bar.  She is not giving you a choice.  This is her way of saying that she has already told you what she wants to do, and if you know what is good for you, that will be your choice.

2.  Does this make me look fat? —  This is a trick question.  Guys, you cannot answer it directly as she already thinks she looks fat and if you say it does not, she will simply say, “but you think I do look fat.”  There is only one good answer, “What do you think?”  That, in reality, is the only thing that matters after all.  Now, if she does say something to the effect that she is fat, it is your duty to reassure her she looks great.

3.  Did you hear what I just said?  — Guys, unless you can repeat verbatim what she just said to you, take the hit.  She already thinks you have not been listening.  Apologize up front and for God’s sake, listen the second time.

4.  It’s all right — No it’s not!  This is another test.  This is her saying, “If you really loved me you would not think it is not all right.”  Do not take the bait.  Even if you have no idea what she really means, your only response is to suggest you talk about it.

5.  Do you know what day today is? — If she is asking you this question it means you are already screwed.  It is some important date that you should have remembered upon waking that day, and she is upset.  It is time to fall on your sword, look extremely upset, and beg forgiveness.  Women know men forget most dates they consider sacred, you know, silly dates like her birthday, her mother’s birthday, the day her favorite dog died when she was 15.  But whatever you do, do NOT say “no.”

6.  I don’t want to talk about it — When she says that, be afraid, be very afraid.  She really wants to talk about whatever it is, but she is pissed!  As you look at her, think of a female lion preparing to protect her young.  That is a fair approximation of her temperament at that moment.  To survive, you must become extremely sympathetic to whatever is going on and be very patient.  If you push, well, think of the poor animal that crosses that mother lion’s path.

7.  What do you think? — This is just her using a different phrase for “Did you hear what I just said?”  She does not want to know what you think.  She wants an affirmation that she is thinking properly and that you are in agreement.  Now unless diamonds, “Coach,” or Gucci are included in your response that is different from hers, she does not want to hear what you think.

8.  Do you think we could go out this Saturday night?  — Guys, unless you have a surgery scheduled that will conflict with this, your only answer is yes.  Not only that, you need to find out exactly what she is thinking, where she wants to go, etc. and do exactly that.  Your poker plans with your friends will not cut it.

9.  I’ll be just a minute — A woman’s sense of time was best described by Einstein as being “relative.”  You will be with her when she says this and it is entirely irrelevant what the actual time it actually takes.  That is her minute and you need to accept it.  And whatever you do, do not tell her how long she took.  In fact, you would do well to say something to the effect of how nice it is just to be with her.

10.  Do you think we could go to (insert phrase here) — Guys, she is not asking you a question!  Not really.  She is simply imparting to you what she wants to do and that she wants you to accompany her in whatever capacity is necessary.

These a just some of the hundreds of phrases, and variations of those phrases, that a woman says to a man.  Most of them can be called “faux questions” as they are really either statements or demands.  It is the man’s job to learn her particular take on each of these phrases and act accordingly.  Men who do not learn, or worse, will not learn, will be either alone or unhappy, and probably both!


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